Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
