Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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