you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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