I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
