wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
