It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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