I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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