just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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