About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is wine microwaveable?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
