I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
