there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
