Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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