There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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