Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She bit a glass in half.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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