She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
pray to the hookup gods
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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