I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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