Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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