You just made me feel so damn special
I just cut my nipple shaving
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
