T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
