I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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