I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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