i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
