just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
