Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
