11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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