After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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