If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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