I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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