I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
