everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
