Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
two words: eviction party
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
