i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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