One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
