You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
