after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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