11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
