dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
