Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
