Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
