he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
