I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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