I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
