Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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