considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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