No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
