speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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