Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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