How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
