we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fuck appropriateness.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
