The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The best walk of shames are on the highway
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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