Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
