turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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