being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize