i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
