Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Enjoy the penises
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
