You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
