I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
