i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
