i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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