Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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