I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
