wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
