sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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