For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
