shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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