last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
