he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
