Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
